If you work in retail… people that shop at your store can go by many different “names”: Guests, Customers, Shoppers, Assholes, Idiots and the list goes on and on.
Going into the holiday season, I’d like to examine the different types of “people” you will encounter through your retail work experience.
1. The Quintessential Shopper. 
This shopper is like the Bigfoot and the Lochness Monster of shoppers. Very very rarely will you ever meet or help one, but when you do, it will brighten your day. These types will not get mad if something is out of stock. They understand other people are shopping for the exact same hot toy just 2 days before Christmas or it’s 8 hours into Black Friday and realize.. Ya.. that 100$ 60 inch TV probably still isn’t here. They will thank you over and over for any type of help. These are the people that fill out 4’s on the survey’s because they think it will help with them winning the 1,000$ survey. A rarity in the retail world.
2. The “I Hate My Life So I’ll Take It Out On You” Shopper 
We’ve all met this candid, vocal bitch. Nothing you can do will make a difference. They are there to make your life hell. They will claim the store is stealing from them if you can’t return the item. O really? Because I wrote the rules on the return policy? It’s called reading people. Maybe if you graduated high school you’d understand that. These guests make up roughly 75% of all shoppers. That may be low balling it too. If you work long enough, you can spot them a mile away. To combat them, use big words they won’t understand, keep repeating it’s corporates choices and rules and not to take it out on you. And if all else fails and they won’t shut up. Call the cops and watch the hilarity ensue. Trust me.
3. The “I never should be allowed to have kids” Shopper 
We’ve all seen this 3rd and final one. The ones that let their kids run around the store amuck. Mess up the zone. Throw stuff on the floor. Piss in the fitting rooms and expect us to clean it up. Lose their child and force us to look for it in a panic otherwise we get sued for their stupidity. We applaud you bad mothers and some fathers. It takes alot to look like a clown in public, but they do it easily. And kids on leashes? Don’t get me started. These shoppers go crazy during 4th Quarter time, can’t control their kid crying and could care less their kid is screaming at the top of their lungs for 25 minutes straight.
We all know their are many more types and I will cover those in a few later posts, but best of luck dealing with these souls that have no saving.
The "411" On Retail 